Review :: Diamond, Pearl and Platinum Platinum

Pokemon Platinum REVIEW thing

Alright you guys, it's time for the wonderful 16bit's review of the latest game in the sexy Pokemon series. Or something like that D:

Let's just start from the top with the INTRO.

As you can see, we gots us a spoooky red border here, which I'm sure symbolises COMMUNISM. Oh god.

Aaand here's the very japanese logo of the game, which I'm hoping means "Pokemon Platinum", and not "Ubisoft Presentz: My Pocket Monsterz."

Cut to that forest-place, which looks all pretty and shaded.

Oh my god, some NEW PEOPLE. Who are they? Will we ever find out? (maybe)

Zomg it's Dawn and that french dude running around and throwing stuff at eachother, how impolite.

And suddenly, pokemans, six of them! Pretty sprites. Two pokemon show off their elemental attacks right after eachother. Interestingly, it's random which one of the third-stage starters appear here. Changes each time you start up the game. O: How magic.

AND THEN
The music goes spooky. (It's still the same song from the previous games.)

And this mean-looking dude pops up. ;_;

Then the camera shows a spooky hole in the ground, where this face appears.. I call it the smiley-hole :D

And then...

This title screen is the most ever! O:

Alright, enough of that, LET'S PLAY.

As you can see, things have changed a bit. Differently coloured background, The professor introduces us to a BUNNY, main characters with new clothes, and IT'S ALL IN JAPANESE. Why would they do that D:

Anyhow, professor talks, I name myself 16bit, and my RIVAL is of course those damn 64bit systems :c with their fancy 3D graphics and their blast processing and.. *mumbles to myself* Anyways, after all that, we get some funky music and we see a TV-SHOW, which apparently shows the professor's house and MORE JAPANESE TEXT OH GOD NOT AGAIN. And then the show ends, phew. Although no shiny Gyarados as far as I could see :C

I just manage to take ONE step, and BAM, my arch-rival-nemesis-dude appears D: He says some words which I don't understand, but I'm sure he insulted me somehow, then he goes to my computer and most likely looks at my mails and steals my items, and then he leaves again after a few more insults D: I don't like him anymore.

Anyhow, time to go DOWNSTAIRS and..

OH GOD SHE NOTICED ME, quick, where's my cardboard box? My tranq-gun? D: Wait, this isn't..? Oh.. Let's just talk to her then, and see what she has to say. She mentions my rivals name, so I guess I should find him? D: Oh god he'll probably insult me again, I don't think I can handle anymore insults ;_;

Time to go outside~

..Whoooah. SNOW O: And it's NIGHT too. How romantic. <3

Oh well, time to ADVANCE THE PLOT.

Grrr..

WHOAH DUDE.

Alright, from here on, it goes basically the same way as in the previous games. Rival yells at you, runs away, realises something, comes back and goes into his house. Go after him, talk to him in his room, and he yells at you and runs outside again. What a hassle D: Let's follow him then.

I managed to translate this part and got the following:
"oh hai dood lets go 2 da grass on da right?"
"kkz"
I'm quite sure I got it right.. Anyhow, rival is about to run THROUGH the grass, like the crazy person he is, and a PROFESSOR appears, zomg.

He talks for a looong time, and I get asked some questions apparently. I just picked what I think was "Yes" 8D Then the Lucas dude appears, omg. He says words too. Then a suitcase appears, more words are said, and I can control myself again o: But I can only go towards the suitcase, going any other ways makes my rival yell something at me. Grrr... I think it's time to CHOOSE DAT POKEMAN.

I choosed a TURTWIG, and then the professor said stuff and left me :c And so did the Lucas dude :C And then out of nowhere BATTLE TIEM

My rival makes a funny little dance, and then it's BATTLEING TIME. Oh god I haven't had time to EV train my Turtwig, I'll definately loose D: And there's sexy new colours as you might have noticed. O:

It took me three hours, but somehow, I managed to win. You should've seen it, it was EPIC. Anyhow, rival says something to me after the battle, and then THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK. I would've posted a screenshot, but.. yeh. You know. And then I suddenly appear AT HOME. Where my mother walks around all stressed-like I'm guessing.

She then says MORE JAPANESE STUFF OH GOD WHY THIS GAME IS HORRIBLE STOP IT WITH THE JAPANESE ALRE- oh cool she gave me an item. I bet it's those SHOES. Because nobody can run without SHOES. I've tried it. It's physically impossible D:

RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN *pant pant* RUNRUNRU- Ok, time for PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

I RUNRUNRUN out of the town, and meet my RIVAL in the exact same place as previously D: He says some words to me, and then goes STALKER-MODE, where he follows me wherever I go ;_; And since he won't let me go to the grass to the right, and won't let me go to the town, then I guess we should go TO DA LAEK.

Oh yeah, and while we're walking around, let's check out stuff.

Firstly, my TRAINER CARD. Too bad I can't buy stuff with it like a credit card D: And then my BAG, which has been changed to a WHITE one. Oh god, it's an iBag D: Anyways, TO THE LAEK. o.o

PROTIP: Change the menu theme to the third to last one, and then you can be as RETRO as I am <3

Oh god. OH GOD. WHO IS THAT. HE'S COMING RIGHT TOWARDS ME D: Oh god he's talking to me. I'm scared. Oh, phew, he's gone ;_; *traumatized*

SUDDENLY. A strange sound can be heard. Some kind of.. pokemon? O: My rival looks around, but apparently sees nothing. Then he says A WHOLE LOT, and just walks away, leaveing me, a fragile girl all alone ;_; So I do what must be done, and RUNRUNRUN around for a bit, then leave the lake. Nothing else to be found here. Oh but before that..

I can now confirm that the black battle thingies are not just for special battles, but for wild battles too. o:

Alright, now I can finally go past that grass that has stopped me so many tim- RANDOM BATTLE

oh i see 1 bidoof
*beats it*
*takes one step*
RANDOM BATTLE
oh i see 2nd bidoof
that's like
2 bidoofs

Aaaaaand.. after that, we arrive in the NEXT TOWN

Lucas dude awaits me here, because he has nothing else to do in the middle of the night <3 He talks to me, and shows me to the professor's house where SLAM OH GOD NOT YOU AGAIN D: Oh phew, he only said a few words then exited stage to the right. Let's go visit the professor now that 64bit is gone D:

Oooh, such gentle music. Anyhow, the professor says stuff, and then it's time for some NICKNAMING. Blame Latias_Tamer for this one <3 Then some MORE words from professor and Lucas-pal, and then ITEM GET! The Pokedex I'm guessing. Alright, time to leave this place and town an-

JESUS, WHAT NOW?! ...you just wanted to give me the TM27? Oh ok. Dats cool.

After that free item and some MORE talking, da Lucas dude shows me his TRUE colours.

He's really that old town guide man from the G/S/C games in disguise D: So cue the classical "lemme show you around"-theme, and let's learn about the town. Except not, cos we already know what each place is, lololol, let's just skip that and do something much more important:

RUNRUNRUN

*coughs* Anyways, back to our adventure.

WHOOPS, the Lucas dude is being all like "no wai dood u kant go heer go hoem." So I guess there's nothing else to do than to RUNRUNRUN aaaall the way back home :<

RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN F-Finally.. *pant pant* Alright, went home, my MOTHER healed me pokemans, then 64bit's mother came in and gave me a PACKAGE to give to her horrible son.

The game is nice enough to tell me that it's been put in the KEY ITEMS part of my bag. See? See that tiny blue KEY icon? Clever stuff that is. Anyhow, back to the Lucas-dude again. Ah yes, and I caught some stuff on the way there.

oh muhed you have 2 bidoofs

..Ah yes, and as you can see, it has become DAY now. 16bit - "Staying up all night just so YOU can get a review!" Indeed. Anyhow, on to see the Lucas-dude and let him teach us how to accidentially a whole pokemon. Maybe.

He spots me, talks talks talks, shows me his pokeman, then catches another one, give me some of his balls (D:) and walks away. Woot.

After some random/trainer battles, I SUDDENLY reach the next town where OH GOD WHO IS THA- oh it's just the Lucas- dude, phew.

He takes me for a walk when suddenly a MYSTERY PERSON appears to be hiding behind a lamppost. Awesome. I'll call him SNAEK just for that. Geddit? It's like SNEAK, only differently spelled. I'm so cleverlolololol. Snaek tries to hide behind the OTHER lamppost, but fails at that and starts talking to me and Lucasdude. His theme song is sexy <3 He talks, gives me item, and then sneaks away again. And then the Lucas-dude desides that he has other stuff to do, so he leaves me too :'(

Oh yeah, we got a gift from Snaek, let's see what it is o:

It's a .. PDA? Let's check it out.

W..whoah? Well, I guess this is a BATTLE RECORDER, zomg. Dunnoe how it works though.

Anyhow, I tried leaving the town, but then 64bit challenged me to a D-D-D-DUEL, and I lost, so I went back and grinded levels for a bit and caught some pokemans. Check out my team NOW.

Lololol. I totally pwnd him.

But anyways. From here on, it seems that there's only smaller changes, like, which kinds of pokemon the gym leaders and galactic peoples use, some changed/added events, like a certain gym leader appearing And.. of course, then there's the storyline, which has changed muchly at certain points. But I won't spoil that for you guys, you'll have to wait and see how it goes on your own, when the sexy Platinum game finally appears outside of JAPAAN.