Episode 5

Season Four

Presenter: Have you worked it out yet? Maybe you’re following something you thought you picked up on in Episode One? Just make sure you’re not wasting your time, especially since this episode harbours one of the biggest clues…

Day Thirteen

Presenter: It’s been twenty-four hours since Togetic finally got her wish and left the competition. The contestants have surprisingly been banned from eating all day and as the sun goes down on the Battle Frontier, the hungry contestants assemble for their next challenge.

Presenter: Contestants, tonight you will face one of your most exhausting challenges we’ve ever set on PokéMole. You’re all hungry, tired and so naturally, we’re going to ask you to stay up all night. But it’s not as simple as that. Behind us is a disused barn, in the middle of which is a bowl of luminous jelly. The challenge is called I, Warrior, and all you have to do to win 20,000, is ensure that by sunrise the bowl of luminous jelly is still intact. Throughout the night at irregular intervals, an army of enemy Pokémon will attempt to knock the bowl off its stand. However, they can only do so by attacking it from within a 5-foot circle drawn around the stand. It will be your job to ensure they do not get that far, since if any of you can hit them with one of your own attacks they will automatically retreat. However, you will not be allowed to move beyond the open-ended attic running around the sides of the barn. Those of you incapable of firing long range attacks will be given paint guns instead. Any questions?

Hitmonlee: Luminous jelly?

Presenter: Why not?

Hitmonlee: Meh.

Presenter: You’ll all need codenames – it’s no fun otherwise – and oh of course, there’s a slight catch. None of you are allowed to fall asleep. Everytime one of you falls asleep a timer will start, and will not stop until you are all awake once again. If the timer reaches 5 minutes, it’s game over. So it’s up to all of you to help each other stay awake. I meanwhile have a nice warm hotel waiting for me, so I’ll see you in nine hours!

Presenter: The contestant’s retreat to their shadows and so the challenge begins. Two hours later, the knackered contestants are starting to get paranoid; nothing has happened. Yet.

Hitmonlee: They wouldn’t just be testing our awareness would they? It could just be a cover-up to make us stay up all night.

Lairon: I don’t think so. I’ve heard some noises outside a few times. Although it would be a clever idea…

Presenter: Lairon – codename Lawnmower - gets cut off, as suddenly, a Sudowoodo, a Nuzleaf, a Lunatone, a Natu, a Beldum and a Grovyle run in from different entrances and attack the bowl. The contestant’s organisation and reactions prove fantastic, as Absol – codename Depress - sends a Shadow Ball at Sudowoodo, Hitmonchan – codename Consonant - and Hitmonlee – codename Vowel -fire paint at Nuzleaf and Lunatone respectively, Ivysaur – codename Bushtucker - sends a Razor Leaf at Natu, Lairon sends a Mud-Slap at Beldum and Nosepass – codename Jamie -, despite initially missing a speedy Grovyle, eventually hits the target with a Rock Throw. With all the enemies hit, they all retreat and the barn once again falls quiet.

Absol: That was fun… sort of… okay, it was scary!

Hitmonchan: Amazing how attached you can get to a bowl of jelly isn’t it?

Presenter: Hopefully they are attached, since just three minutes later, the challenge suddenly springs to life as the enemy Pokémon once again attack.

Nosepass: Argh, they’re here again! Fire, fire!

Presenter: Another organised defence once again ensures the jelly remains untouched. Following this, a three-hour wait ensues before another attack is launched.

Nosepass: Argh, they’re here again! Fire, fire!

Presenter: All the contestants are this time a little slow in reacting, and despite a barrage of attacks which land practically everywhere inside the barn, Lunatone reaches the centre of the barn, and using Tackle, knocks over the bowl. The challenge has been lost.

Presenter: Well, you’ve gotten me up four hours early following your failure to defend the jelly, and as a result you do not win the 20,000. And look at this! Rocks, leaves, mud and paint all over the place! I think following your little game of soldiers you’ve got some cleaning up to do, don’t you? Once you’re finished you can think about what went wrong during your continued eating ban, before meeting me at the Pokémon Center tonight. I’ll see you there.

Absol: Togetic finally went! Thank you God!

Hitmonchan: There were only three rocks to dispose of whilst we were cleaning up, suggesting to me that Nosepass didn’t do as much defending as maybe she was claiming she did.

Hitmonlee: Nosepass needed waking up a few times last night – all she’d have to do would be claim over-tiredness and she could have easily thrown the challenge should we have gotten close to winning it.

Ivysaur: Hitmonlee was in charge of dealing with Lunatone, and ultimately it was Lunatone who lost us the challenge. That has to go down as a possible sabotage.

Lairon: I still think Togetic’s the PokéMole. She has to be!

Nosepass: I’m too tired to write anything properly.

Day Fourteen

Presenter: The contestants have now gone around thirty-six hours without sleeping or eating, and slowly arrive for their next challenge, looking increasingly moody and tired.

Presenter: Well, you little endurance marathon is nearly at an end, and you’ll definitely be eating tonight. The question is, how much will you be eating? That will be answered during this next challenge, entitled Meal or No Meal. Before I explain the challenge, I need you to nominate one person to play the challenge. You have fifteen seconds.

Presenter: The contestants eventually decide upon Hitmonlee.

Presenter: Okay then. Behind you all are eleven identical sealed boxes, containing eleven different sums of money. In a minute I’ll ask Hitmonlee to select one box, whilst the rest of you must select two boxes. Hitmonlee will then select two boxes to open, one at a time, before a mystery former contestant, known as The Banker, will make you an offer for your box. If you refuse the offer, we shall continue until you either accept another offer or get to the final two boxes, which will mean you’ll walk away with the contents of Hitmonlee’s box. That amount will not only be the prize money you walk away with, but also represent how well you eat tonight – the more money you win, the more food you’ll be given tonight. Please go and choose your boxes.

Presenter: The contestants could win anything between 1 and a staggering 50,000. The boxes are chosen, and the challenge begins.

Presenter: Okay, let’s begin. Hitmonlee, choose a box.

Hitmonlee: Box number four.

Presenter: Let’s open box number four… it’s 1! What a great start! Choose another number!

Hitmonlee: Number one.

Presenter: Let’s open box number one… it’s 5,000. The 50,000 remains in play, but you shall now receive an offer from the anonymous former contestant known only as The Banker. Let’s answer the phone… hello Banker.

Banker: Psy-yi-yi-duck!

Presenter: The key word no longer being anonymous…

Banker: Your first offer is 14,000.

Presenter: Hitmonlee, 14,000. Meal or No Meal?

Hitmonlee: No Meal.

Presenter: In which case, we shall continue with the game. Please choose another box.

Hitmonlee: Box number two.

Presenter: Let’s open box number two… it’s 20,000, it could have been better. Choose another number.

Hitmonlee: Number ten.

Presenter: Box number ten contains… 3,000. The 50,000 remains in play, but let’s see what your offer is…

Banker: Psy-yi-yi-duck!

Presenter: …

Banker: 16,000.

Presenter: The offer has risen. Hitmonlee, 16,000, Meal or No Meal?

Hitmonlee: I can’t walk away yet. No Meal.

Presenter: In which case I need your next box number.

Hitmonlee: Box number eight.

Presenter: Box number eight contains… 50,000! Oh dear! The biggie has gone, the maximum you can now win is 35,000. Don’t have the round from hell, pick a number.

Hitmonlee: Box three.

Presenter: Box number three contains… 1,000. Let’s see what your offer is…

Banker: Psy-yi-yi-duck!

Presenter: Oh shut it.

Banker: 12,000.

Presenter: Losing that 50,000 has affected the offer, it’s down to 12,000. Meal or No Meal?

Hitmonlee: No Meal.

Presenter: Then continue.

Hitmonlee: Six.

Presenter: Box six contains… 10! Fantastic! Choose again.

Hitmonlee: Nine.

Presenter: Box nine contains… 15,000. Let’s see what your offer is…

Banker: Psy-

Presenter: Don’t bother.

Banker: 15,000.

Presenter: 15,000, Meal or No Meal?

Hitmonlee: It’s tempting but… No Meal.

Presenter: In which case we must ask you to open one more box.

Hitmonlee: Eleven.

Presenter: 100, 10,000 or 35,000. Let’s have a look… 100! Brilliant, this means you’re guaranteed at least 10,000. But your final offer is…

Banker: 21,000.

Presenter: 21,000? Meal or No Meal?

Hitmonlee: That’s less than the average left. No Meal.

Presenter: In which case, we must open your box, which contains… 35,000! Congratulations! The prize fund now rises to 165,000! And perhaps more importantly right now, you’re going to be eating healthily tonight! Your final battle before the next elimination will take place tomorrow morning at the Battle Pike. I’ll see you there.

Absol: I think Hitmonlee played the game well today – he could easily have dealt at a lower price.

Hitmonchan: I had the big money box! I should have volunteered myself before the challenge!

Hitmonlee: Go me. Go me. Go me.

Ivysaur: Today didn’t present much in terms of genuine analysis chances of the others, but it was fun. Which is all that matters, really.

Lairon: We were missing Noel Edmonds today.

Nosepass: I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. I’ve always thought the Battle Pike was the best of the battling challenges.

Day Fifteen

Presenter: Whichever 5 contestants survive beyond today will move into the latter stages of the competition – it’s the time they can all start to smell victory, so how will they play the game? For the team, or for themselves? Decisions, decisions.

Presenter: Friends, welcome to the giant Seviper shrine that is the Battle Pike. Today, your challenge is worth 20,000 and is pretty simple in theory. The Battle Pike is infamous for holding inside it’s wall one of the most complex mazes in existence inside Hoenn, and inside it we’ve placed ten targets. All you have to do, collectively, is physically punch them all within half an hour. Be warned though – there are a lot of wild Pokémon in there and should you enter the same room as one, you have no choice but to battle it until one of you loses. Should three of you lose a battle, or your half an hour elapse, you will win nothing. If you’d like to head to your designated entrances, we shall begin.

Presenter: The klaxon sounds and the challenge begins. All the contestants enter the Battle Pike, and the challenge almost makes a great start – Nosepass has a target on the roof of her very first room, but despite appearing to glance upwards, she darts onwards through the first door and bumps into a Marshtomp. A battle ensues – Nosepass tries a Zap Cannon but Marshtomp uses Surf, knocking out Nosepass. Make that a disastrous start.

Absol meanwhile is the next to bump into a Pokémon – a Machop. A battle ensues, and although Nosepass puts up a brave fight, the type advantage tells and Machop eventually ends the battle with a Cross Chop. Just as this happens, Hitmonchan punches a target. 5 minutes have gone and the contestants are already on sudden death – nine targets are needed, and no more battles can be lost.

Hitmonlee then walks into a target – literally – and shortly afterwards meets two Kadabra. Hitmonlee is therefore helpless as a number of Psychic attacks in quick succession settle his fate. The challenge has been lost.

Presenter: Well it was a bit of a tough challenge, but you did ultimately face some bad luck – all the battles encountered had you with type disadvantages, but the prize fund is frozen for this episode at a very tasty 165,000. It looks like this time, the PokéMole was the one with the fists of fury. The elimination will take place tonight at the hotel foyer – be there.

Elimination

Presenter: The ten-question quiz on the identity of the PokéMole has been taken. Time to boot one out.

Presenter: Six must become 5 – good luck to you all. We’ll start with... Ivysaur.

Presenter: As Ivysaur’s name is entered into the computer, rather than showing a red or green screen, the number 2.718281828 flashes up on the screen. Following this unexpected occurrence, the elimination continues as normal…