Episode 6

Season Four

Presenter: No time for rest. No time for letting your guard down. There’s a PokéMole at work, and the gameplan is starting to change. Now it’s every contestant for themselves, and the stakes have never been higher. Who’s your prime suspect?

Day Sixteen

Presenter: The contestants gather for breakfast at the beginning of their sixteenth day of PokéMole Four, and although following the somewhat lightweight physical nature of their challenge yesterday, the general consensus between the contestants is that a rough, physical challenge is on the way. Good idea, but no. In fact, today is all about moral values.

Presenter: Contestants, minus Absol, a very good morning to you all, I hope you all slept well. Today’s challenge will take place at the cliffs, and you’re all going to be making the half-hour trek there immediately after finishing your breakfast. The route to be taken is illustrated on the maps on the wall, and I’ll expect you there in just over half an hour. Being late will result in punishment. I’ll see you there.

Presenter: Waiting in the hotel lobby is a seemingly random-looking passer by, clearly carrying a Pokéblock case. They’ve actually been recruited by us, to follow almost the same route as the contestants. The contestants have been told to travel through a number of fields, one of which being a famous Diglett and Dugtrio field – a field of moles, and the potential hint that something will happen there.

Hitmonlee: Right then, let’s go.

Nosepass: Shouldn’t we be studying the maps a bit more?

Hitmonlee: Let’s just take them with us, they never said we couldn’t.

Presenter: Clever clogs. The contestants set off, just as this mystery passer-by sets off. The challenge is rather fittingly called The Secret Challenge, and will involve the person dropping their Pokéblock case whilst travelling in the Mole field. With the contestants being told they must not be late, will they return the Pokéblock case to the random person, or will they believe avoiding being late is more important than doing the right thing? Returning the Pokéblock case will earn them 20,000 for the prize fund, and as both parties arrive at the Mole field twenty-five minutes later, the contestants are very much starting to panic and hurry, but it certainly doesn’t affect group spirit:

Contestants: Polly put the Kecleon, Polly put the Kecleon, Polly put the Kecleon inside its Pokéball!

Presenter: And who said this year would be scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Hitmonchan: Oh, look! We’ve got to go through this field of Diglett and Dugtrio!

Presenter: With literally thousands of them popping up and down randomly, it’s a Whack-a-Mole fans dream come true.

Ivysaur: Looks like fun.

Presenter: Ivysaur, leading the way, takes a few steps into the field, before being knocked over by an ascending Diglett, before bouncing off another ascending Diglett and landing on top of a Dugtrio. Yay.

Hitmonlee: We don’t have time for this; we can’t afford any setbacks. Follow me.

Presenter: And with that, Hitmonlee leads the way, prodding any protruding moles out of the way, to create a path through the field.

Lairon: Hang on, what’s this?

Nosepass: It’s a Pokéblock case!

Hitmonlee: Hey, wasn’t that guy ahead of us carrying this?

Hitmonchan: Yeah, you’re right! We should return this!

Lairon: But look! He’s turned off to the left, we’re heading right! And we can’t be late; we don’t have time!

Hitmonchan: But it might be important to him!

Lairon: Well I for one am not being late, it might cost us money.

Presenter: And with that, the contestants leave the Pokéblock case on the floor and continue their march towards their final destination. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Presenter: Well contestants, congratulations on failing a challenge before even finding out what it’s about. You saw the Pokéblock case on the floor in the Mole field, yet you failed to return it to it’s owner – you were more worried about yourselves, and in doing that, you have in fact failed today’s task, and the prize fund remains at 165,000. Your next challenge will take place tomorrow at the Contest Hall. You may now begin your walk back to the Hotel. See you tomorrow.

Hitmonchan: I’m not surprised by Absol’s departure, since she’s the only contestant left who I’ve never really suspected. It does leave me with a bit of a dilemma though.

Hitmonlee: I can’t help but feel today’s challenge could have been too easy – I can’t help but feel we all missed something.

Ivysaur: Looking back at my notes I can narrow down who’s left to my two main suspects – with any luck I’ll choose the right one.

Lairon: I hope there’s a big group challenge just around the corner so I can carefully watch everyone else again.

Nosepass: The PokéMole will naturally have initiated numerous sabotages by now, so really it’s all about identifying who’s been consistently inconsistent from the word go.

Day Seventeen

Presenter: So who’s your X Factor favourite? Don’t care? You might want to skip to Day Eighteen. Assuming there’s nothing you might want to see…

Presenter: Well contestants, following the abysmal failure incurred yesterday, today’s challenge will give you a chance to redeem yourself, and it’s called The P Factor. We’ve invited the Johto Name Rater in to view a talent show – the stars of the show will be you. You’ll now be given half an hour with which to decide what you wish to do – tell poems, sing, tell jokes, perform a magic trick… the choice is yours. He’ll mark each of your performances out of ten, and if you can achieve a total score of thirty-five or more out of fifty, we’ll add 20,000 to the prize fund. Any questions?

Hitmonchan: Can we do a double act?

Presenter: You must be joking.

Presenter: Half an hour later, the Contestants are ready to proceed, starting off with Hitmonchan.

Presenter: Sir sir, Mr Name Rater sir… oh, you look remarkably like the PKMN.NET member -

The Johto Name Rater: - yes that’ll do.

Presenter: And with that, Hitmonchan performs a karate master class, breaking bricks and planks of wood at will.

The Johto Name Rater: You know, during the time it spent me to watch this I could have successfully impaled myself with a kitchen knife. I'll let you guess which one I desire right now. Three out of ten.

Presenter: It could be a long, long day.

Hitmonlee: A few people have mentioned to me I sound a little like Elekid Pressley, so I thought I’d sing a song.

Presenter: Dancin’ to the Jailhouse Rock oooooh yeah.

The Johto Name Rater: Not bad, but the entire thing said to me Strictly Come Prancing in a singing way. 5 out of ten.

Presenter: The contestants are going to have to drastically improve if they’re to pass this challenge.

Ivysaur: And now, a recital on my own proposed theory, on why the integral of one/x is actually ln x.

Presenter: This is why Maths at A Level is a bad idea.

The Johto Name Rater: Oh yes, I completely agree. Eight out of ten.

Presenter: That’s much better.

Lairon: What’s green and hairy and goes up and down? A gooseberry in a lift! Up and down, up and down, up and down, and it’s hairy! Haha!

The Johto Name Rater: Leave. Now.

Presenter: A total of sixteen out of forty. The challenge can no longer be completed. We don’t even get to see Nosepass sawing the Ledian in half. Shame.

Presenter: Another loss, another chance to add to the prize fund gone. The prize fund remains at 165,000. Your last challenge before the penultimate elimination will take place at the Battle Arena tomorrow morning. Have fun until there.

Hitmonchan: Make no mistake Mr Name Rater, that knife wish of yours could easily be arranged…

Hitmonlee: Strictly Come Prancing? Sounds strangely familiar.

Ivysaur: I’m glad I scored so highly despite the challenge still being failed. Nosepass going last would make it easy to sabotage the challenge if we were on course to pass it anyway, right?

Lairon: It goes up and down, up and down… green and hairy… I’m a legend.

Nosepass: Not participating today gave me a great chance to watch the others, and Lairon not getting any marks for us has to go down as possible sabotage – and my assumption is that at this stage, the more blatant sabotages will start to appear.

Day Eighteen

Presenter: Let’s rock this joint.

Presenter: Welcome to your next challenge, entitled Battle Arena. Today, you’re all going to have a three-turn battle against a Noctowl – if after three attacks each neither of you have fainted, the Battle Arena judges will judge your performances based upon Mind, Skill and Body, and will declare a winner for the battle. If four of you can be declared the winner or knock out Noctowl, we’ll add 20,000 to the prize fund, which after three consecutive losses I’m sure would go down very well. For once we’ll go in reverse alphabetical order, so Nosepass, please take to the battlefield.

Presenter: Nosepass starts off with Thunder Wave, which paralyses Noctowl, who in turn fails to move due to the paralysis. Nosepass then attempts a Zap Cannon attack, which hits Noctowl and knocks it out. One-Nil to the contestants, and that was far too easy for an Episode Six challenge.

Lairon steps out. Lairon straight away uses Protect, whilst Noctowl uses Hypnosis, which naturally has no effect. Lairon responds with a Take Down attack, which hits Noctowl, who responds with Peck. Lairon then uses Double-Edge, which Noctowl replies to with Confusion. Both contestants remain standing, and so it goes to the judges. Victory to Lairon, two-nil to the contestants.

Ivysaur’s turn. Ivysaur uses Sleep Powder, which hits Noctowl and leads to it falling asleep. Ivysaur then uses Razor Leaf, which hits Noctowl but wakes it up. Noctowl replies with a Peck attack, but Ivysaur cleverly dodges and uses Vine Whip. Noctowl uses another Peck, which this time hits, but the match once again goes to the judges, who once again declare the contestant the winner. Three-nil. Already.

Hitmonlee can win the challenge by beating Noctowl. Hitmonlee starts off by using Tackle, whilst Noctowl, although affected, uses Hypnosis, sending Hitmonlee to sleep. Noctowl then uses successive Aerial Ace attacks, which knock out Hitmonlee. Three-one, and it’s all down to Hitmonchan.

Hitmonchan steps out and uses Mach Punch, which is a critical hit and knocks out Noctowl. What an anti-climax.

Presenter: Congratulations contestants, the losing run is over and the prize fund at the end of Episode Six is frozen at 185,000. There’s no time to rest though – you’ll have a few hours to gather your thoughts before the next elimination. I’ll see you there.

Elimination

Presenter: The 5 remaining contestants have completed the ten-question quiz, and all noticed the equation on the wall behind them, viewable here. Lovely stuff.

Presenter: Four of you are about to reach the penultimate stop of PokéMole Four. Good luck.